


Operation: True Love

by Lady_Ridalya



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:14:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29273808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Ridalya/pseuds/Lady_Ridalya
Summary: Dean rescues Cas from the Empty, bringing their story full circle. But with Jack being hands off, he's going to need some help getting there...and that means telling his friends and his brother what the Angel said before he was taken, and what Dean so desperately wants to say back.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 87





	Operation: True Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at fanfic in years and my first explicit one. Be gentle. Unbeta’d so any spelling or grammar errors are mine.

The afternoon sun was high overhead as the Winchesters stared as Jack - a literal 3 year old - restored the people of Earth with a snap of his fingers. They were standing in the middle of the road, just the three of them one second and the next everything changed. The boy was calm, a small smile on his face as he wielded unimaginable power. The sudden buzz of distant conversation, the singing of birds and the rumble of vehicle engines seemed a cacophony compared to the silence of moments before. Jack had done what the boys had begged Chuck to do - bring everyone back - the people, the animals...but what about Cas?

Sam finally broke the tension. “So...does this mean you’re the new… I mean, what do we call you?”

“Who cares what we call him?” Dean snapped, “Look, all that matters is he got us back online.”

“You gonna come back with us to the bunker?” Sam. Always the peacemaker…

“What do you mean? Of course he’s gonna come back to the bunker. He’s the man with the plan. He’s top dog. He can do whatever he wants now. Come on.” Dean started back towards the Impala parked behind them. “You know what? We’ll spruce the place up. We’ll get some recliners. We’ll get you one of those big-screen TVs.”

“Dean, I’m not coming back home.” Jack’s serene smile was tinged with sadness. “In a way, I’m already there. I’m everywhere.” His gaze seems to look past the brothers, focusing on things only he can see.

Sam gasped, “so you are him.” It wasn’t a question anymore.

“I’m me. But I know what you mean.”

“What if we want to see you? Ya know, or have a beer or whatever?”

“I’m around. I’ll be in every drop of falling rain, every speck of dust that the wind blows, and in the sand, in the rocks, and the sea.”

Dean was still processing that after everything he had said and done, the kid still called the bunker his home...that was just another layer to the ever present guilt roiling in the pit of his stomach. “It’s a hell of a time to bail. You got a lot of people counting on you, people with questions. They’re gonna need answers.” He needed answers.

The nephilim’s face betrayed nothing. “And those answers will be in each of them. Maybe not today, but...someday. People don’t need to pray to me or sacrifice to me. They just need to know that I’m already a part of them and to trust in that. I won’t be hands on. Chuck put himself in the story. That was his mistake. But I learned from you and my mother and Castiel that...when people have to be their best...they can be. And that’s what to believe in.” He met the hunters’ gaze one at a time before giving a curt nod. “Goodbye.” And with that he turned to walk away.

“Jack, wait!” Dean couldn’t let him leave just yet. “Just wait a minute, man. I know you said we’ll have the answers inside of us or whatever, but there is one question I need you to answer directly. I need to know for sure. Not someday. Today. Right now.”

“He’s not here.” Jack replied with a definite downturn of his lips. “I might have Chuck’s power, but it didn’t come with a...manual so to speak. This?” he gestured at all the people around them “This is just raw power. Plucking one Angel out of the Empty like Chuck did for Lucifer? That requires finesse...skill I don’t have yet... I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? Cas is still rotting in the Empty and you’re sorry? You’re GOD, kid. And you just -” he huffed in frustration and rubbed a hand down his face “-ask Amara. She’s with you now, right? I’m sure she knows how to do it.”

“I tried. She’s never interacted with the Empty. She doesn’t know how either.” He met Dean’s hard gaze. “Castiel was my father, Dean, more than Lucifer ever was. The Empty took him because of a deal he made to save me. He means so much and I didn’t even get to say goodbye...or thank you… If I could bring him back, it would have been the first thing on my list; you have to believe that. Whatever else you might think about me, you have to know that I wouldn't do that to him.”

And Dean knew it was true. Jack loved Castiel almost as much as Dean did. Maybe more depending on the day. But to know that his best friend was now caged with a primordial being who hated him with a vengeance was a punch to the gut. “So you’re just going to give up on him. Is that it?” At the look of abject sorrow on the kid’s face, Dean wondered for a moment if he was about to make God cry.

The boy’s voice was a small whisper. He wouldn’t look Dean in the eyes. “I’m so sorry. I’ll learn as fast as I can and I’ll get him out as soon as possible. I swear I will. I owe him that.”

“You’re right. You do owe him.”

Sam’s glare was levelled at his brother “Dean! Give the kid a break. He’s 3 for god’s sake.”

Dean didn’t even flinch at the level 5 bitchface thrown his way. “I wasn’t done, Sammy. Jack owes Cas. But so do I. Deal or no deal, Cas died to protect me. He saved me like he always does and I didn’t have a chance to say anything either...” his voice trails off. 

Dean clenched his jaw, looking over Jack’s shoulder as the memories he’d been trying to suppress rose to the surface. He couldn’t look at Jack’s face.- the face that looked so much like the Nephelim’s adopted father. His guilt made him nauseous and angry. Angry at Jack, at Chuck and his stupid stories, at Amara for not being able to give him what he needed one last time. But mostly, he was angry at himself. Cas was dead because of him. Again. And even if Cas had been happy in his final moment, it wasn’t right. Because Dean had to live without him here in this stupid ass world that they saved together over and over. He had to be here without the one man who showed him who he really was and what he could be. How was he supposed to be the good man that Cas always saw if he couldn’t get the Angel back? His stomach was twisting itself in knots and he hated himself for all the things he can’t do.

Sam saw the clenched fists, the tight line of tension in his brother’s frame. He understood his brother so well, and this wasn’t new. Every time they lost Cas, Dean grieved hard. When they thought it was permanent, his brother lost the will to go on. Sam gave his brother a reason to stay alive, but Cas...Cas gave Dean a reason to live. Without him, Dean went so far as to get drunk on the job, if he could even get out of bed to work a case at all. Dean was holding back a lot of emotion and Sam knew there had to be more about that night than what Dean had told them. He never was very good at talking about how he felt, unless it was anger. He raised an eyebrow in question, his gaze softening minutely. “Dean...what happened down there? How did the Empty even get past our wards?”

The elder Winchester suddenly found his shoes far more interesting than where this conversation was headed. Sam had been asking that question for days while they baited Michael. But he knew his brother wouldn’t understand. Sam saw Cas as a brother and assumed Dean did too. He had purposely not told his little brother when his feelings started to change. Loving a dude was one thing; falling for a celestial creature was something else entirely. Only the dark corners of his room had ever been privy to that secret. He winced as Jack chimed in.

“Cas said that his deal had a condition. He - he had to experience a moment of true happiness before the Empty would take him. It wanted him to suffer and then whisk him away. He told me before that he was far from happy and didn’t expect to have to make good on it anytime soon...”. Golden eyes lifted to finally look at Dean. He stared deeply into the hunter’s face like Cas had done the night they met. The boy was reading his mind. Dean bristled at the intrusion as something like understanding began to dawn on the half-Angel’s face. 

Sam paced by the trunk of the car, resting his chin on his hand as his thoughts tumbled. “True happiness, huh? What could make Cas happy that he didn’t already have? He had a home. He had a family - hell he had a kid!” He gestured at Jack before he began pacing again. “I mean it’s kinda funny, once we said that Angels couldn’t feel at all. We didn’t think they had the equipment to care, remember? What makes an ancient entity happy?” Sam stopped abruptly and his mouth dropped open as his head snapped up. He rounded on his brother. Dean closed his eyes as he internally braced himself.

“I knew it! You finally did it, didn’t you? About damn time, Dean! I’ve been waiting 10 years for you to get your head out of your ass!” Sam was downright gleeful as he stepped closer. Vindication at last! He lightly punched his brother’s arm. “Took you long enough.”

Dean’s eyes flew open. A gust of air would’ve knocked Dean on his ass in that moment, so the playful hit to his shoulder sent him stumbling sideways. That wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. Surely he’d misheard… He gaped at the taller man who was smiling widely. “Get my head out of - what are you -”

“Oh come on! I have eyes, thank you very much. All that staring you two did... I’m the one who had to sit in the room and deal with the awkward sexual tension. It was so obvious! Everyone knew within like 10 minutes of being around you guys. Even Mom! But you both were so damn stubborn and self-loathing and straight up oblivious, of course you wouldn’t say anything. The only times you’ve ever gotten close has been when one of you was about to die. And if this time it was for good...” He trails off, shaking his head. But the smile remained. Dean was re-evaluating some of the things he thought he knew about his brother. He couldn’t do anything but stare.

Dean mind wheeled. Everyone knew? He’d made a point to flirt with anything with boobs for the longest time… He was the epitome of macho masculinity on the surface and he didn’t allow anyone to get closer than that. He thought he’d done such a good job of hiding his desires...Though if he was being honest with himself, Dean hadn’t really been all that subtle. He’d been slipping for a while now. He’d told Father Delaney he wanted to experience people and feelings in new ways...and some for the first time. Admitting it to strangers was easier than confessing to his sibling though. Maybe a part of him was dropping hints because he wanted Sam to figure it out so Dean wouldn’t have to say the words. 

And Sam seemed to have picked up what Dean was laying down now that he really thought back. His brother hadn’t blinked when Dean had asked Caesar about settling down with another hunter, especially considering that other hunter was a dude. Almost immediately after that, Sam had even asked him if he thought about settling down with another hunter...someone who knew the life… Sam had to have meant Cas. Dean wasn’t close to anyone else aside from Sam himself. Dean hadn’t looked twice at any female in years, much less gotten cozy with a lady hunter. He hadn’t been to a strip club or cruised the bars since he lost Cas to the Leviathans… Maybe Sam had known all this time. 

Some others had guessed maybe… Meg had called him “Seacrest” after all, though Dean had had to look that up on Urban Dictionary to get the reference. His mother might have suspected due to the way Cas had clung to him when they were reunited and how Dean had waited a bit too long to let go. That old lady in the nursing home had said she knew he was pining for someone. At the time, he’d told himself it was for Amara…The Darkness herself had said she sensed love in his heart. Love cloaked in shame. The look she’d given him when they were face to face and all Dean could do was call out to Castiel had been telling. She saw it then. The love in his heart wasn’t for her.

He looked back over his 12 year history with the rebel Angel and fuck if Cas’ feelings hadn’t been thrown in his face several times too...he was just too damn dense to take it seriously. The Angel Rachel said Cas was lost when he laid a hand on Dean in Hell. He was sure she’d laugh if she knew how corrupt Dean’s touch had been in the end… 

The other Angels knew too. Uriel made that quip about Cas liking him even though to Angels he was nothing more than a mud monkey… Balthazar, the prissy bastard, spelled it out when he said they’d had him confused with “the one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you”.

Amara - she had used Cas’ heart to track Dean down. He hadn’t thought twice about it at the time, but for their bond to be strong enough for her to trace him in spite of the wards in the bunker and the Enocian on his ribs… 

Cain had told him that Cas loved him if he'd bothered to read between the lines. He’d said Dean would do what Cain did, but backwards...which meant that Cas was his Collette...the one who loved him unconditionally and only wanted him to stop the slaughter… the love of his life.

And Chuck himself had been so pissed that this Cas...HIS Cas...was the only one to not do what he was told… “a crack in his chassis” is what he’d called it. Love. Love for Dean. Love for humanity because of Dean. Holy shit.

Dean’s breath was coming fast as he realized it had all been for naught. All the posturing and gruffness. All the sidelong glances when the Angel wasn’t looking. Every time he’d had to hold himself back from touching Cas, holding him close and never letting go. He could’ve had that this whole time. 

If Sam hadn’t been standing right next to his brother he wouldn’t have heard him speak. “I didn’t know it was like that...” The younger Winchester’s eyebrows nearly reached his hairline. He stepped back and stared down at his brother, using those 3 inches of height to his advantage.

“I swear! I didn’t see it...though now that I actually think about it…” He raked a hand through his hair roughly, “...I’m such an asshole…”

He felt his brother’s hand on his shoulder. The touch was grounding. “You’re not an asshole, Dean. An emotionally constipated idiot maybe, but not an asshole.” Sam’s small smile softened the insult slightly. “Did you really not say anything to him?” 

Dean shook his head and he could see the pity on his brother’s face. He would almost have preferred disgust to this. This hurt far more. He could feel the stinging in his eyes and blinked hard. God...Dean was so pathetic.

“How did he summon the Empty then? Because I cannot think of anything else that would make him happy enough to fucking die besides you coming out of the damn closet.”

Green eyes sharpened through his tears. “He said he loved me! I didn’t get to say anything!”

“What?! How the hell does that make him happy?”

“He - he said his happiness wasn’t in ‘having’ or some shit. I was in shock, I don’t remember the exact words. And then that black goo snatched him up!” 

Cas had pulled him close before he said goodbye and Dean would have bet his car that the Angel was finally going to kiss him. But then Billie had broken through the door and Cas’ shove had sent him flying into the wall. The sludge had taken the Death and the Angel, and Dean was left alone. He’d cried more that night than he had since the first time he’d lost Sam. Not that he’d ever admit it. He was still amazed he managed to make the 9 hour drive to meet Jack and Sam with no sleep.

“And you didn’t tell him that you loved him too?? It’s 3 words, Dean! It takes 2 seconds!!” 

“I didn’t get a chance, Sam! I was still processing!” He shrugged his brother’s hand off and whirled away. Bile seared his throat as he scrubbed an arm across his eyes.

Sam’s voice was quiet again. Soothing. He knew he was pushing Dean and risking a fist to his face. His brother was on edge, but that was the only way he would ever talk about emotions. “But you do, right? Love him? Like that”. Dean could hear the smirk in his little brother’s voice. That little bitch...

He snapped. “Of course I do! I want to hold his stupid hand in the car and kiss his stupid face all the damn time! I fucking choked, okay?!” There was an audible click as Dean’s mouth snapped shut. He turned back finally and narrowed his eyes at Sam. His brother should really not be looking this happy while Dean was in crisis mode…

“Well that settles it then.” The smile was no longer mocking, but it was still there. 

“Settles?! Settles what, Samantha?” His nerves were frayed and raw. He was on the verge of a breakdown in the middle of the damn road. 

Sam held up a finger. He had his serious face on. Ho boy… “One, you’re Bi and I’ve been waiting literally years for you to realize it.” A second finger joined the first. “Two, I’m fine with it and have been for like...ever. You saved the world, Dean! More than once. You deserve to be with whoever or whatever makes you happy. And three, we’re gonna rescue your boyfriend from the Empty!”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Dean could feel his face heat at the foreign word.

Sam cackles “Not yet.”

When they turned to face Jack, he was gone, leaving the boys to their own devices. Dean hoped Jack had disappeared during the arguing and before he became an emotional mess. “Swell time to choose to be hands off” Dean muttered. Without Jack this was going to be a lot more difficult.

~~~~~~~~~~

Driving had always helped to soothe Dean’s nerves. Something about the empty road and the rumble of the engine calmed him. Normally he would have tunes blasting from the speakers to help block out his own thoughts. But he couldn’t that night, because Sam was on the phone. They were in the Impala racing back to the Bunker and Dean had never wanted to hug and punch his brother in the face simultaneously more than in that moment. Sam was absolutely giddy about the confession and had dubbed Cas’ rescue from the Empty as “Operation True Love”. Dean appreciated his brother’s enthusiasm - and his easy acceptance even more - but damn if he wasn’t still terrified of what would happen when they got back. He was going to have to tell people eventually... Admitting it to himself had been one thing. Telling Sam was an accident. But to look his friends in the eyes and say out loud that he liked guys? He was not sure he was ready for that. Jody would probably be fine with it...Donna too. They’d accepted Claire and Kaia easily enough. But Bobby and Charlie? They weren’t his Bobby and Charlie, he knew that. But the thought of them not approving...of them leaving… Fear twisted in his gut and his lips thinned into a line. 

Sam had been calling their friends to recruit them for the effort within minutes of jumping in the car. The conversations were two-fold: making sure that Jack really had brought everyone back, and to get some manpower for the next step. They had to figure out how to get into the Empty and they had no idea where to even begin. But the Bunker had books and manuscripts that they still hadn’t read, so there was always the chance that their own library had the solution they needed. There had to be something there that they could use, but they were going to need a few more pairs of eyes to do this quickly. Sam had graciously agreed not to say anything about him and Cas but the self-satisfied look in his eyes as he chatted with Jody said more than enough. Dean was putting hair dye in his brother’s shampoo that night. Neon pink.

~~~~~~~~~~

Per Dean’s request, Sam had kept the group small, so all of the hunters from the other world weren't there. Dean was having a hard enough time as it was without having to spill his guts to strangers. Sam wanted to bring in Claire and Alex too, but Dean balked. No way was he going to tell Claire he basically had the hots for her dad. Especially considering that he hadn’t told her about his death this time around yet either… He was going to need a lot of whiskey before he had either conversation with the aggressive teen. 

Sam had the gang digging through the various tomes looking for any word about the Empty or Angelic deaths. Any scrap of information they could find might make the difference. Everyone was pouring over the manuscripts and not saying a word about Sam’s refusal to remove his beanie. They were all surrounded by stacks and stacks of books. Everyone except Dean. 

Dean was locked in his bathroom as he tried not to vomit in the sink. He regretted the bacon and eggs he had for breakfast which sat like lead in his gut. A splash of water on his face and he stared down his reflection. He could do this. It wasn’t a big deal. But he couldn’t shake over two decades worth of repression and self-hatred. He remembered being 17, fooling around with a boy whose name he can’t even recall, in the backseat of the Impala. He remembered the fear and shock of the door being yanked open and as he was dragged out of the car by his father. Dean was pretty sure he still had a divot in his head from where it hit the curb… But those people in the other room weren’t John Winchester. They weren’t going to beat him because he loved Cas. They were his friends. Some of the only ones he had left. He’d tell them eventually when he was ready. But for now he just had to play it cool. He could do that. He was a damn cucumber. Dean scrubbed at his face with the towel and marched into the map room. 

The silence of the map room was suddenly broken by a sharp clap of hands as the elder Winchester rounded the corner. “Okay, everybody. What’ve we got?”

Seven pairs of eyes lifted to stare at the sudden interruption and Dean felt the smile slipping off his face. They were looking at him and he began to sweat. Were they looking at him differently? Was that suspicion that he saw? Did they know?? Could they smell the gay on him? Did he have some sort of sign over his head saying “I like guys!”? His heart raced and his tongue was suddenly thick in his mouth. The spacious room felt far too small. He couldn’t breathe. He nearly turned on his heel and ran when his brother spoke up. As he talked, Sam slowly made his way next to his brother in an unspoken show of solidarity. Dean loved his little brother so much. He almost regretted the hair dye. Almost.

“Not much, unfortunately. Even the Men of Letters only have rumors about the Empty. They knew Angels and Demons were a thing obviously, but I don’t know that they much cared about what happened to monsters after they died.” He was eyeing his brother carefully trying to gauge his mood. That pitying look was back on his face.

Dean’s smile fell completely. 

Oblivious to the turmoil in Dean’s head, Bobby groused “Bout time you came to join the party, boy. Mind telling me why I’m ruining what eyesight I’ve got left on a bunch of books?” Dean had to remind himself sometimes that this Bobby was a soldier. Charlie too. They’d both faced their deaths in the other world head on and managed to walk away. They weren’t much for reading. 

This part was easy. Start with the basics and keep it simple. “We’re gonna find Cas.” 

The old man snorted. “Didn’t realize he’d gone missing. How’d you manage to lose your Angel? He was mighty handy to have around over on the other side. Once we realized it wasn’t his damn doppelganger of course.”

“I didn’t lose him.” Only he did. Dean lost a part of himself that day. “He was...taken. By something called the Empty as part of a deal to protect Jack. Ya know, the one who brought y’all back after Chuck did a Thanos. But we’re gonna get him back. And to do that we have to get into the Empty.”

Charlie crossed her arms over her chest. She hadn’t met Cas in the other world and only had memories of pain and torment at the hands of the celestial host. “You pulled me away from my girlfriend and her magical scrambled eggs to rescue an Angel?” The way she said the word made Dean’s eyes go hard. 

“Cas isn’t like the Angels you saw in your world. He’s not some destructive tool. He’s not a psychopath who tortures people for fun. He’s kind and gentle... He’s my...friend. He heals. He’s patched us up a million times. He cares about people. He - he rescues kittens when he thinks I’m not looking for fuck’s sake! And!” He levelled a finger at the group. “And he rebelled against God. The only one to do it in all the worlds he created. God said so himself. So there!” If he had been 30 years younger, he might have stuck his tongue out. But he was an adult, so he crossed his arms defiantly and gave a sharp nod. Take that.

Sam chuckled as he rested a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “What Dean is trying to say is that Cas is family. And we can’t leave him in that place.”

Dean looked at Charlie before his eyes traveled to meet those of the room’s other inhabitants. “Look, I know most of you don’t know Cas. Or if you do, then not very well. Except for Rowena who was somehow invited to this little pow-wow.”

“You should be grateful I deigned to attend, Dean Winchester.” the witch drawled. “Luckily I have Hell running in tip-top shape and can spare you a few moments of my time. Besides, my power is likely going to be needed to get you where you want to go. Unless you have some other means of transporting to another dimension, hmm?”

Dean scoffed and wrapped his hands around the back of the chair closest to him as he leaned in. “Anyway, Cas is important. And I’m not going to leave him in that hell hole if I can help it. No offense Rowena.” His gaze flitted between all the others, but they all seemed attentive to his words. “He saved me from Hell. Literal Hell. I’ve lost count of the number of times he’s saved my sorry ass. And I need to return the favor one last time. Because...I uh, I - ikindahaveathingforcas.”

Bobby leaned forward in his chair. “Come again, kid? My hearing isn’t what it used to be.”

This time it was Jody who saved him. 

“Does it really matter? If Cas is important to Dean, then he’s important to me. I can vouch for the healing part. Dude patched me up with a tap to the forehead once. He’s good people.” Her eyes were soft as they took in Dean’s grateful smile from across the table. She walked up to the man she considered one of her surrogate sons and put a hand on his other shoulder. Dean felt the reassuring squeeze. She knew. And she was okay with it. He could’ve hugged her. 

Jody’s eyes met Donna’s for a second and something Dean couldn’t see passed between them. The exuberant blonde grinned up at him from her spot next to Bobby. “Good enough for me!” Donna declared as her palm landed sharply on the table top. “Let’s spring the little cupid!”

Bobby shrugged and went back to his reading. Rowena practically leered at him through her lashes. She definitely knew. Charlie watched him for a moment, before leaning towards him. Her look was almost conspiratorial. “You say this guy has healing powers, right? Say we help jailbreak him...do you think he could fix the carpal tunnel in my wrists? It really hampers my fighting style and makes certain...things with Stevie...difficult.”

Dean took a moment to bleach his brain of the thought of the woman he always saw as his little sister finger-banging a chick. “Yeah he can fix your wrist. No problem. But you’ll have to ask him. Nicely.”

She grinned as she settled back in her chair. “Wonderful! I’m in. So what, are we looking to summon up a legion of naked cherubim archers to go storm the castle and bust him out?”

Dean huffed a laugh. “Easy there, Miracle Max. Even if Heaven would help, they’ve only got a handful of Angels left. Nah we’re on our own on this one. The hope is that there’s a spell somewhere in this mountain of books that can help us. So let’s see if we can actually find a way to get him out.” 

Dean relaxed his death grip on the chair and eased himself into the seat. He stared down the mountain of literature in front of him. He sighed as he reached for the top of the pile. The things he did for love… Cas better be grateful.

~~~~~~~~~~

3 days, 7 hours and 39 minutes later, it was Bobby who ultimately found the spell. A torn page stuffed into a book about Angel physiology that Dean definitely didn’t confiscate for later research. They’d all given an exhausted cheer when Rowena declared the spell looked promising. But it was written in Enochian and Demonic with some sentences containing a hodgepodge of both. Sam figured he would be able to translate the Enochian symbols using Kevin’s old notes and Rowena knew enough of Demons to understand their language. But it would be slow going. Dean chafed at the additional delay, but he trusted his brother would solve the problem as quickly as he could. 

Instead, Dean tried to make himself useful and focused on taking care of their guests. One morning he got to flex his culinary muscle a little bit and made vanilla cinnamon waffles with fresh whipped cream and real maple syrup that Donna may or may not have smuggled across the border from Canada. He threw in some hearty fried potatoes and sausage links and only got one glare from Sam about his eating habits. The appreciative murmurs of his friends enjoying his food made it worth it though. He made his famous burgers that night and Charlie swore she’d marry him if she was into guys. He could get used to this

The hunters were enjoying an intense game of poker and indulging in slices of a cherry pie - store-bought since cherries weren’t in season - when Sam and Rowena finally came through. Dean would’ve felt bad about leaving all the hard stuff to his brother, but he knew the nerd enjoyed it. The thud of heavy boots intermixed with the click of high heels heralded their arrival into the map room. Dean was glad for the interruption because while he was good at pool, poker was a whole ‘nother thing. And Charlie was a damn card shark. 

“So get this. ” Sam let his brother’s eager hands snatch the paper. “It’s a surprisingly simple spell. We have most of the stuff too. Holy oil, myrrh, frankincense, the bone of a saint - thankfully we have one left - and fire. The only thing we don’t have -”

“Is a piece of Castiel himself.” Rowena murmured before turning to Sam. “And I suppose you’re going to rely on me to hold this portal open like I did for your wee jaunt into the other universe?” Sharp eyes tracked to Dean as she smirked. “Aren’t you glad Samuel invited me, after all?”

Dean looked up from where he was jotting down the spell components on a napkin. “What do you mean a piece of Cas? Cuz it’s not like he’s the Doctor and has an extra hand lying around. Are we talking like uh, a hair or something?”

Rowena chuckled. “The spell needs something significant to bind to, dear boy. It doesn’t just open the door. It will seek out yer missing Angel once you’re there. But it needs ta know unequivocally what it’s looking for. Or else who knows what it might lead ya to.”

Dean swore the room suddenly felt 20 degrees colder. Michael and Lucifer were in the Empty too. If he ran into one of them instead of Cas...he wouldn’t be coming back at all. He racked his brain. Cas didn’t really have stuff like they did. He’d never seen the man brush his hair - maybe that was why it looked unruly most of the time. Dean had always wanted to tell the Angel he had sex hair just to see how he would react. Probably just do that cute little head tilt as usual. It was one of the Angel’s more endearing quirks. 

The sharp tap-tap-tapping of his pen helped Dean think. No hair. No feathers despite the fact that Dean knew he had wings somewhere. No body parts obviously... Did they have anything of Cas here at all? If anyone looked at this place, would they even know Cas had been here all those years? Dean only had the one small picture of Cas in his cowboy hat, but that was just for him, tucked safely in his wallet. Cas didn’t eat or sleep anymore since he powered back up so he didn’t need a room. He only had the one pair of clothes too since he could repair them with awave of his hand. It was like he didn’t exist there at all...no wonder he’d never felt truly at home...So much for family not ending in blood…

“That’s it!” Dean was up and racing down the hall before the chair clattered to the floor behind him. He nearly careened into the door as he pivoted inside. His need for orderliness was momentarily thrown to the winds as he scattered clothing around. He knew it was here. He’d shrugged it off before going to face Chuck, too emotionally and mentally exhausted to do much else. He was starting to panic when he caught sight of the familiar green material draped haphazardly on the chair next to his bed. The hunter’s triumphant cry could be heard throughout the bunker. 

The confusion was palpable as Dean rejoined the others and thrust the jacket towards Rowena. 

“Dean…” his moose of a brother actually sounded concerned. “That’s your jacket. What does that have to do with Cas?”

“It’s right here. The sleeve. Look!” He shook the jacket emphatically to accentuate his point. “When Billie was trying to crush my heart, Cas blocked her with a blood seal. And after he - before the Empty took him, he pushed me out of the way. And left this!”

Everyone seemed to lean forward in an attempt to see the now dark brown stain on the shoulder of Dean’s jacket. Rowena seemed pleased. “That’s Castiel’s blood, is it? Well then. Let’s see if we can’t open a portal!”

Bobby huffs, “Ya know. I always figured Angels would bleed blue or something. Them being celestial and all.”

Doubt suddenly filled Dean’s mind. “Well, I mean technically I guess it’s his vessel’s blood...but Jimmy’s spirit hasn’t been in there for a long time. Cas said it was all his years ago. So I don’t know… does that make it his blood too?” Dean turned to Sam as though he had all the answers and his face began to fall. “This is all we have that’s from Cas. There isn’t anything else...”

Sam’s heart broke at the quiet devastation in his brother’s voice. The blood was a good idea, but Dean was right. It was technically Jimmy’s blood. It might not be enough. And if they used up their last saint’s bone on a spell that didn’t work then who knew when they might be able to try again. Dean might finally drink himself to death if he failed to reach Cas soon and he didn’t want to think about what the Angel might have to endure while they tried to find a replacement either. There had to be some way to make this work. His gaze roved over the jacket, now splayed on the map table with the sleeve spread out. It took him a moment to realize that the fading blood was in the shape of a handprint. Castiel’s handprint. A handprint he’d seen before.

“I’ve got it!”

“You’ve got what, Sammy? What is it?” Dean didn’t even try to hide his eagerness.

“The handprint!”

“Yeah I know the handprint. We just said it might not work. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one…”

“No, Dean. The handprint. The original handprint.”

Dean stared at his brother as though he had 3 heads. “What are you talking about? That is the original handprint. He left it there weeks ago! What, you think I painted over it or something?”

Sam sighed deeply and ran his hands down his face. “I’m talking about the handprint that I saw burned into your actual arm 12 years ago. The one Cas left when he ‘gripped you tight and raised you from perdition’, remember?” Sam’s use of air quotes only made Dean miss the Angel that much more. “Cas explained it to us once, though I doubt you were paying attention. When an Angel makes a claim on a soul, it leaves a brand. Cas left a brand when he rescued you from Hell! He made a claim on your soul. Surely we can use that to find him!” 

The Queen of Hell wasn’t even bothering to hide her smirk from them. “He branded you? Well that explains a lot.” Dean shot her a baleful look, but she continued on unimpressed. “And yes, Samuel, Angelic grace bonded to a human soul is very powerful indeed. It will work.” Brown eyes met green. “Looks like you’ll get your Angel back after all.” The sing-song lilt in her voice was enough to make Dean blush. 

~~~~~~~~~~

They began their preparations the next morning. They opted to use the basement since it would protect the rest of the bunker in case something went...awry. Sam gathered all the ingredients together in the dungeon and crushed them into a small bowl. Business as usual. Jody, Donna, Bobby and Charlie were gathered around to watch. It wasn’t every day you got to witness magic of that magnitude. Dean himself was occupying a chair in the middle of a large sigil of protection. A sigil in the room where he had lost Cas a whole month prior… He was so nervous he thought he might vibrate out of his skin. Cas had said that human souls were like nuclear reactors and as Michael’s true vessel, Dean’s was even stronger than most. Finding the pieces of Castiel’s grace intertwined within would be difficult, but Rowena claimed she could do it. He didn’t want to think of what might happen if she failed. 

The petite redhead entered the sigil with him and slowly placed a hand on his chest. Dean knew she could feel the staccato of his heart. She tried to smile reassuringly, “Relax. This will all be over soon.”

“Yeah. That’s what I’m afraid of.” His leg was restless and he wiped damp palms on his jeans.

“Have a little faith! With all the other worlds gone and the Archangels dead, I’m the most powerful being around besides Jack now. If your ‘profound bond’ is as strong as your brother claims it is, finding Castiel’s grace will be simple.” The red-head turned to Sam and nodded. She would recite the words to the spell as the younger Winchester slowly poured the holy oil into the mixture. 

Dean could feel a sense of warmth begin to build as Rowena’s voice rose and fell with the incantation. It grew hotter and hotter until he felt like a small sun was blazing inside him. Sweat poured off him and his whole body was thrumming with energy. His fingers dug into his thighs as every muscle spasmed relentlessly. His heart felt like it might pound right out of his chest and every nerve ending was awash in agony. Dean reminded himself that he’d endured far worse pain at the hands of Azazel on the rack. It would be over soon one way or another. The hunter grit his teeth and wondered if this is what it felt like to be burnt alive. 

The spell reached a crescendo and Dean barely registered the sound of holy oil being lit as a sudden burst of power rushed through every cell in his being. The scorching heat was gone and was replaced by the intense, cool tingling he’d always associated with Cas’ healing touch. He couldn’t know it, but for a moment, his eyes glowed icy blue. The sound of a portal tearing open fell on deaf ears as he lost himself in the caress of the Angel’s grace. 

Rowena’s drawl in his ear drew him back to himself. “Well that was dramatic.” The euphoria faded and Dean was left trembling in the aftermath. This must be what it felt like to do hard drugs. He sagged into the chair and struggled to catch his breath. Sam was at his side in an instant while the rest of his audience sat wide-eyed and speechless. 

Sam knelt by his brother, the hand to his chest the only thing keeping him from slipping out of the chair in that moment. “Dean! Are you okay? Holy shit, man. That was insane! That was...that was incredible!” He huffed an awed laugh. “That blue light was intense. I’m still blinking spots out of my eyes...but for a second it actually looked like you had wings!”

Wings. Dean remembered wings. Huge, dark shadows against a dilapidated barn wall. Undeniable proof that in front of him had been a creature beyond his imagination. Between the sparks flying, bullets ricocheting, and the way he’d just smirked when Dean plunged the dagger into his chest...Cas had known how to make an impression. The wings had been the icing on the cake. For the first time in his life, Dean had known what awe truly meant. He’d always wondered what the real things looked like...Were they actually black? Or maybe white and fluffy. Hell, knowing Cas they were probably rainbow colored. Maybe he’d ask the Angel to show him once he got him back… But he had to get him back first. Dean struggled to stand and with Sam’s help managed to regain his feet. 

His brother’s hands clutched him beneath his arms and bore most of his weight. “Dude, are you sure you’re up to this? Can you even walk right now?”

Dean growled. “I’m fine Sam.” And he was. He was more than fine. As his body came down from it’s grace-induced high, he realized all the little aches and pains that normally plagued him were gone. The twinge in his lower back, the ever present ache in his shoulders, even the dull throb in his knee from where he smacked it on the map table 2 days ago. Dean brushed off his brother’s hands and stood on his own. “I’m good. I’ve got this.” 

Rowena gave him a sharp nod of approval as she looked him over. “Now Mr. Winchester, in order to find your missing cherub, you’ll need to focus on the bond you share when you walk through that portal. She nodded to her right and Dean finally turned to see it. The undulating mass of black goo was exactly as he’d seen it that awful night. He stepped towards the portal, but was hauled back by strong arms. 

Sam didn’t let go. “Easy there, tiger. Don’t get ahead of yourself. We need to come up with a plan.” 

“I’ve got a plan. Rescue Cas and don’t die.” Dean nodded decisively and started towards the opening again. Sam’s hand tightened around his forearm in warning, but Dean jerked it free. “I’m going to go get Cas and you guys are going to stay put until we get back.”

“Dean you can’t just walk into the Empty! You don’t even know what’s on the other side of that door.”

“Sure I do. Bunch of demons. Bunch of winged dick-bags. And Cas.” 

“You’re not going in there by yourself, man.”

“Am too.”

“You can’t do this alone, Dean. You could barely stand seconds ago!”

“Watch me.”

“What are you, twelve?! This is dangerous, Dean. What if you don’t come back?!” Sam was afraid. Dean could hear the slight tremble in his voice. 

Dean looked his brother in the eye. He was steady and calm in a way he hadn’t expected with what was about to happen. But he had an Angel to find and he had things he needed to say to him. “Then I don’t come back. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, Sammy. I know you texted Eileen and she is on her way here, but since we kinda stole her car it’s going to take a while. You have your chance to be happy. And I’m gonna go get mine.”

Sam opened his mouth to reply, but Rowena decided at that moment to interrupt. “As much as I enjoy listening to your brotherly banter, this portal will only stay open for so long. Every second ya waste chattering is less time you’ll have on the other side. Samuel, I suggest you let your brother go on his mission. Besides, I’ll need you here to help me maintain the spell for as long as possible.” 

Sam finally nodded reluctantly and stepped away. He held it together as best as he could, but Dean could see it was a struggle to let him go. “Fine. You do what you have to do. But you’d better come back. I wanted to tell you before, but I - I got a ring. For uh, for Eileen. I’m gonna ask her to marry me, Dean. And I’ve gotta have a best man at my wedding, so you’d better come back.”

Dean grinned. Of course they were getting married. Sam had brought the one he loved back from the dead. And now it was Dean’s turn. “You couldn’t keep me away if you tried. Besides, I do look damn good in a suit.” With a saucy wink, Dean took a deep breath and stepped through the gate.

~~~~~~~~~~

Traversing the portal felt like walking through a wall of cold mud. It was nothing like the searing heat of Gabriel’s portal into the parallel world, nor was it threatening to tear him apart like the rift in Purgatory, but Dean still suppressed a shudder as he finally came out the other side. He opened his eyes and just stared. The hunter wasn’t sure what he expected of a place called The Empty, but it certainly lived up to its name. A vast plain of darkness greeted him. Nothingness as far as the eye could see. No landmarks and no horizon. Just solid blackness all around. He’d been there 3 seconds and he already felt depressed. How was he supposed to find Cas in this?

Rowena had said to focus on the bond between him and Cas. It had been strained, frayed, and nearly broken more times than Dean cared to count, but it was still there. It was strong enough to break Naomi’s hold on Cas and had allowed Dean to defy the Mark of Cain. No wonder it had been able to open the door to this desolate place. Dean stilled for a moment and felt for the force he knew was within him. He searched for the bright blaze of his own soul wrapped in the soothing embrace of Castiel’s power. He found it easily. All that meditation and visualization yoga crap Sam was always going on about might actually be legit. He’d never tell his brother that though. 

Dean concentrated on the gentle flow of holy power inside of him. He reached for it and it shimmered in response. Gooseflesh erupted on his skin, but Dean ignored it. Every thought was of Cas, finding him and getting out. Together. The grace inside responded and began to thrum beneath his skin. It grew and became brighter the more Dean focused. Suddenly, he felt something let loose from his body and slowly opened his eyes. A tendril of red light had materialized from his chest and began to wind through the vastness. Dean laughed aloud. A red thread, huh? The string of fate that tied two people together. Somebody out there had a sense of humor. 

Time had no meaning in this place. There were no markers to know how far he’d walked. No sunrise or sunset to track the hours. It was eerily quiet with nothing but the sound of his footfalls and his own quiet breathing to break the silence. At times he thought he could hear the faint sound of voices - talking, screaming, sobbing - but he didn’t slow. He never deviated from his path. Dean followed the thread for what felt like hours or even days. He slept fitfully when he was too exhausted to continue, but never for long. The muscles in his legs burned from exertion and his raw throat made him regret not bringing water. The red line flowed steadily forward before finally coming to a stop. Dean reached out to touch the end of the strand and felt something solid instead. A closed door. The ruby glow illuminated the sudden appearance of a handle. Hope warred with fear as he pushed the door with a trembling hand. It swung open on silent hinges. 

Dean couldn’t stifle the quiet gasp or calm the rush of relief as he entered what he supposed was a cell. He saw Cas, clad in his ever-present trench coat. The broad expanse of his back was towards Dean. But the Angel wasn’t alone. He was facing someone; the hunter was shocked to see that it was him. Another Dean. They were staring at each other- as he and Cas had always been wont to do - and around them were what looked like windows to the past. Technicolor scenes that played over and over again in the silence. Cas was reliving his memories and nearly every single one was of Dean. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Cas had lost track of how long he’d been in the Empty. The flow of time was so much different than before. Days or years, it hardly mattered. There was no nap. No peaceful sleep. The Empty was vengeful after being woken up. And though he hadn’t seen the shadow in some time, manifestations still haunted him every second he was here. He faced his most agonizing regrets and held tight to the knowledge that everything he had done was worth it in the end.

Dean had to lean forward to hear as Castiel finally spoke. “Hello Dean. I knew she’d send you here eventually”.

The other Dean remained silent, his face unreadable.

“It’s funny, you know. Ironic even. I’ve been alive for millenia, seen civilizations rise and fall, and yet all my greatest regrets center on you. One man amongst a sea of humanity. You who brought me the most joy and the deepest despair I’ve ever felt. Who made me feel in the first place. It was always you. Our bond was forged in Hell as I built you up from atoms. I know you in ways you cannot begin to comprehend. Ishim was right. You are my mortal weakness, but I don’t regret it.” Castiel could have been talking to a wall for all the reaction he got from the image facing him. 

The panes of memory began to shift, and like a silver screen drama, the story of Dean and Castiel played out for all to see. Dean watched the bright light of his own soul as Castiel found him in Hell and he could feel the shock as Dean gleefully flayed some poor bastard on the rack. But there was no revulsion...only sorrow and something possessive. Dean shivered. He saw Cas rebuild him and leave him to claw his way out of that grave. He really needed to ask the Angel about that, because what the hell?

Fast forward to the night they met and were face-to-face in that barn. For the first time, Dean felt the Angel’s confusion that this was the Righteous Man...this jaded human with no faith. He senses wry amusement as Dean plunged a knife through his heart. Despite everything, that is what began to endear Dean to him - his willingness to fight against all odds. 

The confusion was more pronounced the first time Castiel felt something. Something unpleasant that he couldn’t decipher in the pit of his stomach as he saw Dean and Anna kiss. Jealousy. The Angel was beginning to consider disobedience even then. That possessive jealousy was given a name that night outside a brothel in Maine when he felt the Angel want him for the first time.

He cringed as he saw Cas come to him after Sam trapped Lucifer in the Cage - saw himself in his pretend domestic bliss. He’d torn the Angel a new one when he found out about his dealings with the King of Hell. His words shot to kill when he was angry and he’d thought Cas deserved it then. He thought he understood the intense pressure Castiel had been under with the war in Heaven. He was Jon fucking Snow. 

Then came the images from Purgatory, their reunion by the river, stolen moments of peace between battles. He felt the ache in the Angel’s heart with every step, heavy with the knowledge that he was going to send Dean through that portal alone. Cas watched him while he slept on the frigid ground, unblinking, for hours. Dean couldn’t find it in himself to be perturbed the way he used to. 

The scene shifted again and this time it was that bloody night in Lucifer’s crypt. Dean heard his own cries and felt every blow all over again. But all he wanted was for Cas to be okay. The memories of Castiel’s sessions with Naomi made him see red. He watched as the Angel slaughtered thousands of copies of Dean at her command. Over and over again. But when it was actually him, Cas dropped the knife. This part, Dean remembered very well, but now he understood what really broke Heaven’s hold. 

He watched his own face tell the Angel he had to leave the bunker and again as he walked into the Gas n’ Sip to drag a jilted Cas back into hunting. He saw for the first time what it was like for him as a human. Nights huddled on the cold tile floor with nothing but his thin blue vest as a pillow. The constant confusion and panic at all the new things his body had to contend with without Angelic grace to keep it in stasis. The searing pain of singed fingers and the constant ache of tired muscles. The fact that he sent Cas away with no warning and no preparation for what it was like to be mortal would always be one of Dean’s greatest regrets.

Faster and faster the memories swirled as they displayed what Cas endured to keep Dean safe. The torture at the hands of his fellow Angels time and time again. Being lobotomized every time he rebelled or began to think for himself. The fake trials with Metatron, his multiple deaths. All of that just to see himself brutally beat Castiel while under control of the Mark and tell him that nobody cared that he was broken. 

He was glad he couldn’t see Cas’ face when the scenes showed Dean waxing poetic about Amara and the hold she had on him, the way he looked at her. But he felt the agony in the Angel’s heart, the unbridled pain of seeing the man he loved wanting someone else. A copper tang filled his mouth as he saw himself watch Cas walk away after Mary’s death, his own face tight with rage and agony. 

The sounds of so many memories echoed in the vast chamber. Castiel’s laugh was pained, his shoulders bowed, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away for several moments. “You were always too good for me. Too bright and too pure.” The Angel subconsciously reached out towards the shining image of Dean’s soul, but dropped his arm when he remembered he couldn’t touch a memory. Dean choked back his own hysterical laughter. After all that, the Angel still thought he was a good man. Unbelievable. 

“But that didn’t stop me from falling for you in every way possible. You think I didn’t see these memories in my mind every day? That I didn’t spend every moment agonizing over every single time I hurt you? Every drop of your blood I spilled, every scar you bear because of me, each and every time I let you down... it was another reminder of why I would never be good enough. There is too much pain, too much anger, and betrayal between us to ever heal those wounds.”

Dean could hear the agony in the Angel’s words as Cas faced the other Dean. The Angel stepped forward, but the other flinched away and tears choked the Angel’s voice. Dean had to creep closer to hear him at all. The ever present blackness seemed to muffle sound, so not even his footfalls disturbed the pair in front of him. 

“But I tried. God knows I tried, much to his chagrin. I protected you. I rebelled for you. I lost all I ever knew...for you. I gave up armies, my grace, and my life several times to try to earn a place in your life, however small. I hoarded every smile, every tender look like they were gold. Every touch I was allowed was precious, every moment by your side worth savoring. I breathed you in every chance I got, fed my love for you with scraps of affection and told myself that it was enough. Enough to just be the satellite to your sun, to bask in the warmth of you. I have lived for millenia and you were the only thing I ever wanted for myself. So torture me all you want. I will bear witness to every sin I’ve ever made if it means I get to see you again, even like this.”

If Dean thought he was shell-shocked a few days ago, that was nothing compared to hearing it from the Angel’s own lips. Castiel, an unfathomable creature of light and power the size of the Chrysler building who knew Dean on a subatomic level, was willing to undergo agonizing mental torture every moment of the rest of forever just to see him again. If that wasn’t love, he didn’t know what was. But the Angel wasn’t done. 

“If this is all I have of you, that’s okay. Because this agony is nothing new. Looking at you and wanting all the things I can never have is how I’ve lived for 12 years...what’s a few million more to a being like me? This is the place where I can be unholy. Where I can covet. Where I can want you. And I can pretend that you come here because you want me too. I can watch all those memories and tell myself it was worth it because now I don’t have to hide anymore. I can tell you that my love for you is etched into every fiber of my being. That your power over me is absolute. A glance from your eyes and I would shatter mountains, entire galaxies would be born anew with a kiss from your lips. 12 years with you made my entire lifetime worth living. Saving you gave my existence meaning. I look at your face, be it bloodied and beaten, or drained of all hope and you’re still beautiful. Still Dean Winchester.”

How could Dean have ever thought that Cas couldn’t feel the way humans did? That all those times he had said he loved Dean, that he was important and meant too much to him to let go...how could he have ever let himself believe that he didn’t mean it? Dean had wanted it for so long, but never allowed himself to hope. Told himself, like Cas had, that just having the Angel in his life was enough. The hunter hadn’t dared ask for more with all that had happened between them. It seems they were both a couple of dumbasses after all…

But Castiel, Angel of the Lord, loved him. And Dean loved him too. It had taken years to put a name to it, and despite being repeatedly crushed beneath the boots of self-doubt, it had grown so integral to who he was, that being without the Angel left him hollow and without direction. His voice was rough as he called out the Angel’s name. 

“Cas!”

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel started at the sudden voice behind him, his eyes widening as he beheld a second Dean. The Empty was trying something new. The reverse of what Naomi had done to him, perhaps. The new Dean strode forward with purpose. Castiel backed away on instinct, but something about this manifestation was different. It wasn’t dressed in the green jacket that bore Castiel’s bloody handprint. It wasn’t staring blankly at him while it taunted him with memories. This one looked...hopeful. Determined. It was smiling at him. He was sure he was hallucinating the hand on his shoulder. A warm, living hand. It couldn’t be. Not after all he’d done...all he’d said. Surely it wasn’t... 

“Dean?”

“Hey, Cas.” Dean knew he was grinning like an idiot but he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. Cas was here. Right here with him like he was supposed to be. “You ready to go home?”

“Home? Dean, I - I can’t - I don’t... Is it really you?” Even as he asked the question, he knew it was true. That beautiful soul was singing in the presence of his grace. Cas would know Dean blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. Cas would know him in death and at the end of the world. Stoned out of his mind or with no memories at all, he would always know Dean.

“I swear on my car, it’s me. Jack snapped everyone back after we powered down your old man - Jack’s the new G - O - D by the way - and we came up with a plan to get you back! You can thank Rowena when we get to the Bunker.” 

This was definitely Dean. His Dean. He was nearly blinded by a new rush of tears as his own hand reached out to lay reverently on Dean’s shoulder, covering the brand that only he could still see. A watery laugh bubbled past his lips as their eyes met. He went eagerly as Dean pulled him close. The hunter’s arms held him tight, squeezing back together all his shattered pieces. He grabbed fistfuls of the well-worn flannel and buried his face into the crook of Dean’s neck. He breathed deeply as he fought to control the tears, basking in Dean’s scent, the warmth of his embrace, and allowed himself a small thrill as Dean’s hand found the back of his neck and squeezed gently. Dean pulled back first, but that possessive hand on the Angel’s neck remained. Their faces were inches apart. Their eyes met and all the Angel could see was green. Green green green, flecked with gold, and he was breathless. 

Dean’s smile faded as the Angel pulled away. “Dean, I - I never dared hope that I would see you again. The real you. But I can’t go with you. I made the deal with the Empty knowing full well what it meant. The shadow won’t let me leave and besides this is where I’m meant to be. To finally atone for the things I’ve done...the people I’ve hurt. Especially you.”

The hunter balled his hands into fists to keep from reaching for the Angel. “Cas, no. We are not doing the whole Purgatory thing again. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. As the resident expert on self-loathing, I say you’ve been through enough. And this time I’m not leaving without you, man. I won’t.”

The Angel was shaking his head. He scrubbed an arm across his eyes and Dean ached as he realized Cas had learned the gesture from him. Had learned to be human from him. That explained a lot too. “I made a deal, Dean.”

“Well seeing as how it was a stupid deal, I’m unmaking it!” Dean growled Cas’ own words back at him. Their deal with Bille...the first time Cas told him he was too important to lose. He should’ve seen it then… He should have known.

Blue eyes narrowed in frustration. “It wasn’t stupid! It saved Jack. And from what you said, Jack saved the world. Just like I always knew he would. And you’re alive and safe. Knowing that you’re okay is enough for me.”

“Well it’s not enough for me. And I’m not ‘okay’. How could I be knowing you’re stuck here, not napping, but dealing with a cosmic asshole who is taking its cues from the damn Scarecrow! How could I be okay with that?!”

The Angel recoiled slightly. So Dean had seen everything… “You don’t understand, I -”

“Oh I understand alright.” Dean crowded into the Angel’s space as Cas so often did with him. “You don’t think you deserve to be saved.”

Castiel flinched, his eyes dropping to the ground. Dean wasn’t pulling his punches.

“Dean that’s not fair. This is completely different.”

“Fair? You wanna talk about what’s not fair? Finding out my best friend is in love with me 5 seconds before he fucking dies. That’s not fair. That you loved me from the beginning and never said a word. Don’t you get it? You changed me too, Cas. I was taught to kill the supernatural, but you wormed your way in and made me trust you. You made me believe in myself when I thought I couldn’t anymore. Shit, I told Chuck himself I wasn’t a killer. You did that. You came back after I sent you away, after I nearly killed you. You always came back to me. You...you saved me in more ways than one, Cas.”

His determination to stay was being shredded.

Dean could sense he was breaking through and he pressed the advantage. “This is real, Cas. WE are real, remember?” Dean whispered, his voice rough. “You were supposed to hand me over to Michael like all the others and you didn’t. You defied God for me and it literally saved the world. You became my friend, my family...” The words were choking him...why was it so hard to say three words? He grabbed the Angel by his biceps. “I need you, Cas. Don’t you understand? Goddamn it, I’ve always needed you.” 

“No you don’t. I’ve brought you so much pain and now...things would be...awkward between us. Dean, I know you see me as just your friend. You never give up and you always keep fighting for those you care about. It’s one of your defining qualities. But you have your family. You have Sam. You have Jody, Donna and the girls. And now with Jack in charge of Heaven and Rowena putting Hell in order, you have the peace you always wanted.”

“Like hell I do.” the hunter snarled “You don’t know a thing about what I want.” He tore his hands away from the Angel and Castiel mourned the loss of his touch but held firm despite the traitorous twitch of his hand. 

“What I want. What I really want is to retire somewhere quiet with the people I care about most. It’s you and me and Sam fishing on a lake or toes in the sand on a beach. It’s fruity, girly drinks with little umbrellas and all the chick flick movies I pretend I don’t like. But I can’t have that without you.” He steps back towards Cas, trying so hard to make him understand. “I love my brother. I’ve died for him more than once and I don’t regret it. But he isn’t you. Fuck, Cas, I almost killed him to bring you back. Or let him kill me. Did you know that?”

The Angel glared at him and brought Dean up short. “Don’t lie to me, Dean. Not here and not now.”

“Jesus Christ, Cas...I’m not lying! Ask Jack if you don’t believe me. Hell ask Sam himself. That was our plan after you were taken. We went to Chuck to make a deal of our own. We’d end the story the way he wanted - the whole Cain and Abel thing. But he had to put the world back to rights. He had to bring everyone back. He had to bring YOU back. Whatever comes next, I don’t want to do it without you.” That emerald gaze brimmed with unshed tears and the Angel felt his willpower shatter. Why had he even tried to resist? He had never been able to deny Dean Winchester. Dean saw the defiance fade from the Angel’s eyes, even though he still shook his head in disbelief. 

Dean allowed himself to pull the Angel close, resting their foreheads together. He closed his eyes and took a relieved breath as a single tear slid down his cheek. “I’m gonna get you out of here, Cas. Get you home. But you’ve got to promise me something first, okay? You have to promise.”

He could feel the Angel nod slowly.

He opened his eyes and stared into the Angel, the weight of his gaze so much more than all the times before. Jade bore into sapphire. Sam had been right. Only when everything was on the line could he say how he really felt. And this time the Angel was alive to hear it himself.

“Promise me you won’t leave again. Promise you’ll stay this time for the stupid monster of the week bullshit. For poker games and Dr. Sexy reruns and - and Sam’s lame yoga workouts. Tell me you’ll stay because I can’t lose you” his voice wavered “ I can’t do it, Cas. Not again. Not after what you said. Because I -”. Dean’s voice hitched. “All that stuff you said earlier. And in the Bunker.... Me too.” His hands slid to cradle the Angel’s face. Green eyes bright with emotion. “Me too, Cas. I can’t say it all pretty like you did and fuck if I can’t even get the damn words out. For 10 years I’ve been wanting to tell you. 10 years I told myself I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t smart enough, strong enough, worthy enough, for an Angel of the fucking Lo - don’t interrupt me or I’m not gonna be able to get this out.” His glare was meant to be reprimanding, but Castiel began to smile; he began to hope. The hunter pulled back slightly but didn’t release his hold.

“Of course you loved me, because you loved humanity, right? That’s what God told you to do and you were the good little soldier, so it couldn’t possibly be anything else. How could an Angel love me? I’m broken and bloody, my soul is stained with so many sins, how could you even bear to look at me? Don’t shake your head at me, either. It’s rude. All the stuff I’ve done. I’ve hurt you, I’ve lied to you, I treated you like shit, Cas because I was too fucking scared. But damn... when you left… I drank until I blacked out every night for weeks. Right on the fucking floor. I was a wreck. Every time. But I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t face you and I couldn’t face myself. So I shoved it deep, deep down inside and tried to let it die. But it didn’t. Every time you came back I thought maybe I would do it right this time. Maybe I wouldn’t be a fucking coward. But I knew you’d leave. I knew I’d never see you again if you knew how I felt. And I couldn’t do it. Because I am an idiot, Cas. I - are - are you laughing? I’m pouring my heart out here, and you’re laughing?”

Castiel’s shoulders were indeed shaking, but the laughter that threatened to break free was born of sheer bliss. The triumphant joy of knowing that his love was returned. Dean loved him back. His whole face scrunched up as he fought to control his wild grin. A trembling had reached out to cup the hunter’s face. Castiel gently stroked a thumb along a stubbled cheek, warmth blossoming in his chest as he felt the other man lean into his touch. 

“I’ll come home, Dean. The only place I want to be is where you are. And I’ll stay. I will stay with you for as long as you want and in whatever capacity you will allow. You have always had me - completely and without question.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean was doing a lot of staring today, but damn how did you top something like that? Who would’ve guessed that the Angel who didn’t talk all that much would be so poetic talking about Dean of all people. It was funny. Hell it was hilarious. So much simmering beneath the surface, so much time wasted because they wouldn’t talk about their feelings. And now they couldn’t seem to stop. Sam would have a field day. Speaking of Sam… He pulled back, dropping his hands from the other’s face. 

“Cas, we’ve gotta go. I don’t know how long Rowena’s spell is going to hold open our exit.” He grabbed the Angel’s hand without a thought and hauled him quickly out the door, following the pull of magic back towards the portal. “You wouldn’t happen to know where I can find a demon in here, would ya? I’m supposed to rescue one as part of the deal to bust you out.”

“More deals, Dean? I wish I could help, but I don’t even know how you found ME in here. It’s called the Empty for a reason. You can’t find anyone unless you’ve got outside help and know what you’re looking for. You said I could thank Rowena, so I assume it was a spell. Did she put the Empty back to sleep too? I would’ve thought it would be after me by now.”

“Nah, Jack did that. But he isn’t so great with his new powers yet to pluck you out of here without letting loose who knows what else. Rowena used that profound bond of ours to track you or something. Used the grace you left in my soul when you rescued me from Hell. Hey! I guess it’s my turn to raise you from Perdition, huh?” 

Cas laughed. Truly laughed. Dean looked so proud of himself. “Yes, Dean. It’s your turn to raise me from Perdition.” The pair raced towards the exit, Castiel relied on Dean’s innate sense of the spell’s origin to guide them through the deserted realm. He wondered, not for the first time, if all the brethren he’d slain while under the influence of the Leviathan knew he was here...what they might think about his being able to escape without them. He slowed. That ever present guilt gnawing at his mind. 

Dean felt the sudden pull on his hand as the Angel lagged behind. “Cas, what are you -”

But Cas wasn’t looking at him. He was looking back into the shadows. “So many Angels are here...languishing in the dark because of me. We have to rescue them, Dean. We have to get them out.”

“It’s great and all that you want to rescue the winged assholes who have tortured you and tried to kill you on multiple occasions, Cas. Really it is. But I’m getting you out of here right now.” He tugged impatiently on the hand in his grasp.

Castiel turned those cobalt eyes to Dean and the hunter felt himself waver in the face of his sorrow. “But Gabriel is here. Hannah, Balthazar, and Samandriel... I can’t just leave them if there’s a chance -” 

Dean growled in frustration. He had to stand firm. “Cas, no. We have to go. We’re running out of time!”

“I promised I’d go with you, and I will, but I did this. I need to send them back to Heaven. I need to make it right.” The hunter could feel his control slipping. He raked a hand roughly through his hair. 

“Look, we’ll call up Jack when we get back and figure out if he knows how to spring Angels from the Empty, okay? He said he’d practice. He’s technically hands off now but I’ve got a feeling he’ll make an exception for you. Please, Cas.” His eyes were pleading, begging Cas to just come home. But Cas was begging too, desperate to save the few Angels who had actually cared about him. 

Castiel hesitated. “Gabriel at least. He can help rescue the others if we can get him out.”

“Yeah, let’s rescue the jerk who killed me like 700 times. Good idea.”

“He is my brother, Dean! The closest thing to a father I really had. You of all people should respect that! He SAVED us in the other world and gave us time to escape. Why don’t you care about saving him?!”

“BECAUSE THE ONLY Angel I CARE ABOUT SAVING IS YOU! I’M NOT IN LOVE WITH FUCKING GABRIEL, NOW AM I?!?!”

Dean’s gaze was fierce, burning into Castiel’s. He saw the rapid-fire emotions as they swirled through sapphire eyes - anger, shock, and then a radiant joy. Dean’s mind caught up with his mouth as he registered the Angel’s ridiculously huge smile. Well damn.

The hunter sighed deeply. “You’re really going to make me do this, aren’t you?”

“Dean Winchester, I learned a long time ago that I am not capable of making you do anything.”

Dean’s lips quirked in a small grin. “Look, if I say it, can we please go home? I swear to you that we will get the others out, but I need to get you out of here first. I need to have you safe before I fucking lose it.” His hand reflexively tightened around Castiel’s, the brunette was positively beaming at him now. 

“Yes. Absolutely.” The Angel paused expectantly, leaning towards Dean a bit in his eagerness. Dean was drowning in ocean eyes. Cas deserved to hear him say it...really say it. Castiel practically vibrated in anticipation. Seconds ticked by and sadness crept into that sky blue gaze as the Angel took a minute step towards the immobile hunter. “Dean...please?” 

Oh god, the puppy dog eyes... How an ancient, immensely powerful being crammed into the body of a grown ass man could be so adorable, Dean would never know. He took Cas’ other hand, his thumb reflexively ran over the other man’s knuckles. Dean took a deep breath. Cas had said that he loved him 3 times and Dean felt his heart break a little more when he realized no one had ever said it back. Until now. He could do this. He was Dean fucking Winchester. The human huffed a laugh. 

“Cas, I- I love you, you giant idiot. Now - mmpf!”

Castiel used his superior strength to yank Dean forward, crushing their lips together as he practically molded his body against the other male. Cas’ arms banded around his back as Dean’s hand reclaimed its spot at the base of his skull and gripped him tight. It was clumsy and wrought with nerves and it was perfect. The Angel’s body was so different from the women he’d been with and Dean loved it. The hard planes of his chest, the stubble rasping against Dean’s cheeks...He groaned into the Angel’s mouth.

The Hunter’s other hand reflexively pulled the Angel closer and a jolt of lust shot through him. He could feel the sharp cut of the other’s hips and not for the first time he wondered what was hiding beneath that suit and ugly ass coat. 

Despite the many layers of cloth separating them, Dean was struck by the warmth. They were pressed together from chest to hip and Cas’ body was a solid line of heat. All that grace burning like an inferno under his skin. His brain was getting fuzzy from lack of oxygen, but he didn’t care. This was it. This was how he died. And they never even had a chance to get to the really good stuff...

Reluctantly the hunter pulled back to suck in a breath, though he preened slightly at the dark look in the Angel’s eyes. His own voice was a rough whisper against the shorter male’s lips “We’re going back to the Bunker now and when we get there, we’re gonna try this again, yeah? Because I saw that kiss with Meg so I know you can do better than that.” He dipped his head to nuzzle against the other man’s neck and made sure his mouth was by the brunette’s ear when he murmured, “Gonna teach you sooo many things, babe. Gonna make up for 10 years of wanting you.” He could feel the Angel’s fervent nod and nipped at his ear, relishing the sharp intake of breath and the full body shudder. When he stepped away he couldn’t help the way his gaze slid over the Angel’s body taking in the flushed cheeks, the rapid rise and fall of his chest, and those big blue eyes blown nearly black. He’d done that with one kiss. Damn he was good. Why had he waited 10 years for this, again? 

This time they both ran for the exit, Dean leading the way but with Cas right by his side. They barrelled through the portal, skidding to a halt in the dungeon. The portal snapped closed immediately and judging by Rowena’s pinched expression, not a moment too soon. She eyed the two cooly. “I do hope there was a good reason for taking so long, boys.” The arch of her eyebrows said she already knew the answer. “It’s been four days!”

Dean nodded even as he inched towards the hallway both trying to escape the Queen’s ire and to get Castiel horizontal as quickly as possible. “Uh, yup. Very good reasons. Rescuing Cas, convincing him not to try to bust out the other asshats...lots of heart to heart happening and such. Sam, you’d be proud! By the way, appreciate the assist, Rowena. Owe ya one. Now if you’ll excuse us.” He turned and started to drag Castiel with him when the witch’s sharp brogue brought him up short. 

“That’s all well and good Mr. Winchester, but where is the demon ya promised me?” 

“About that...you see. Funny story actually...”

Cas broke through Dean’s rambling, and Dean was never more grateful for the Angel’s impressive poker face. “What Dean is trying to say is that without a demonic focus it would be impossible to locate one within the Empty. But we have plans to release a few of my less vengeful brethren and will endeavor to make good on that promise. Now, if you don’t mind, Dean and I have some catching up to do.” He stepped closer to Dean, shoulder to shoulder as the witch sighed with exasperation.

“Very well. But once you’re done catching up you will inform me of this plan of yours. And because of this delay I get to choose which demons you bring back. Capiche?”

Dean nodded “Yeah I capiche. Might take a while though. Like Cas said, got lots of catching up to do. Very important uh...conversations that need to be...expanded upon. In detail.” His eyes met Castiel’s and instinctively he started to lean in. 

Sam cleared his throat loudly enough to startle his brother. The elder Winchester jerked back as he grinned sheepishly. “So anyway, um. We’re gonna go this way and you guys can stay here, I guess. We’ve got people to do and things to see. I mean…” He glared as his brother smothered his glee behind his hand before turning on his heel and pulling Castiel down the hallway towards his bedroom. “You know what I mean! Shut UP, Sam!” 

Sam howled with laughter. He was happy for this brother. He truly was. But he was going to have so much fun with this. He took Eileen’s hand as she sidled in next to him. She’d only just arrived that morning and Sam had been too busy helping Rowena keep her strength up that they’d barely had a moment to themselves. She squeezed his hand and canted her head in the direction of Sam’s bedroom which was thankfully located far away from Dean’s. Sam raised an eyebrow as she bit her lip. He got the message. Eileen yelped as Sam scooped her into his arms and followed his brother’s lead. It had taken all of them so long to get here to a place where they had a true shot at being happy. They deserved to enjoy it.

~~~~~~~~~~

The second they crossed the threshold into Dean’s bedroom, the hunter dropped the hand he held. Castiel had a second to panic before he was being grabbed by the lapels of his coat and hauled bodily forward into a searing kiss. Dean tilted his head just so and slotted their mouths together easily. The rough slide of stubble was electrifying and the Angel couldn’t stifle his soft gasp. The hunter used it to his advantage and slipped his tongue into Cas’ mouth. The blonde had decades of experience under his belt and he brought all of it to bear to drive the Angel wild. The decadent moan it tore out of the brunette’s throat had Dean pressing into him, needing to be as close as physically possible. The hunter broke the kiss only to ease the burning in his lungs, but busied himself with trailing kisses down the chiseled jaw and sucking bruises into the Angel’s tanned neck. When they didn’t immediately heal, he knew that the Angel was suppressing his own Grace. He wanted to feel it. Dean nipped at Castiel’s pulse point where it fluttered wildly against his lips and lapped at the salty skin in the hollow of this throat. The Angel’s scent, the heat of his body, and the desperate whimpers had the hunter nearly delirious with desire. 

“Cas” he husked as he left another mark on the Angel’s collar bone “Tell me this is okay. Tell me you want this. Because if you don’t stop me, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to do it myself.”

“Dean” the way the Angel breathes his name is like a prayer “I want it. Wanted you for years, but I -”

Green eyes sought out blue as Dean pulled back slightly. He could hear the wild desire in the gravelly voice, but there was hesitation too. “What is it, babe? If it’s too fast, that’s okay. We don’t have to go all the way tonight. We have time now. We have all the time in the world.”

Those blue eyes were still blown wide, but the shaky nod seemed relieved. Castiel wonders if Dean even registered the pet name that slipped out. “I want -” he licked his lips nervously and Dean automatically tracked the movement, “I want to - to touch you.”

“Oh I can definitely do that.” Dean stepped back a few steps and shrugged off his flannel and jacket in a single sinuous move. Castiel was frozen in place. Before the fabric hit the floor, he reached for the hem of his t-shirt when he paused. He was over 40 now and his penchant for cheeseburgers and cheap beer hadn’t exactly been kind...

“Every inch of you is perfect to me, Dean. Every single one. Because it’s you.”

The hunter flushed, but yanked the thin fabric over his head before he could think too hard about it. He couldn’t help the small smile as the Angel raked his eyes across the exposed skin. “You reading my mind again, Cas?”

“No. But like I said, I know you. You are so much more than an attractive exterior, Dean. Your very soul is the brightest and most beautiful I’ve ever seen. That is who you are, not your abs.”

Dean blushed hard and Castiel quite liked the way it spread across his chest. New scars marred the pale skin and there were freckles everywhere. Castiel wanted to map them with his tongue. The Angel’s heart stuttered in his chest as Dean reached for his belt. Something about the way the hunter pulled the leather from around his waist had the brunette biting his lip. His breath was coming in sharp gasps and he thought he might actually die as those strong hands popped the button on his jeans. The Angel instinctively tried to touch himself to relieve some of the pressure. 

“Hands on the door, Cas.” The hunter growled. “I didn’t say you could touch.” The Angel slapped his palms against the door even as his hips thrust minutely into the air. He was painfully aroused if the obscene tent in those navy slacks was anything to go by. Dean had never considered himself an exhibitionist, but the way the Angel’s hungry eyes devoured every inch of skin made him think twice. That heated gaze belonged on him. Only on him. Nobody else got to see Heaven’s most powerful weapon reduced to a panting, desperate pile of sheer need. 

He pulled the zipper down with an agonizing slowness and felt a surge of something like pride at the way those blue eyes were glued to him. Who would have guessed that doing a strip tease would give him such a power rush. He rocked his hips forward and pushed his jeans down over the swell of his ass and let the loose denim slither down his legs. The Angel’s obscene groan had the hunter cupping himself through his thin boxers to keep from shooting off like a damn teenager. The fabric was damp beneath his hand and fuck if that turn Dean on even more. No woman had ever made him this wet and eager. 

Castiel looked like he might be having a stroke. His dark pupils had almost swallowed the blue in his eyes, his abused bottom lip was still caught between his teeth, and his hands scratched at the wood of the door, desperate to touch. He was trembling trying to hold himself back. Any shred of fear or self-consciousness was gone. Dean pushed down his boxers eagerly and felt the smear of pre-come as his dick slapped against his stomach. 

“Dean”. The Angel’s voice was absolutely wrecked and the rough baritone was dark with lust. His eyes rolled back into his head as he tried to steady his breathing. 

Dean couldn’t help his cocky smirk at the sight of the Angel fighting to control himself. “This what you wanted, Cas?” 

“Fuck, Dean…”

“Oh we’ll get to that Angel, don’t you worry. But first I think we need to level the playing field a bit. Strip for me.” The hunter perched on the edge of his bed to untie his boots. He kicked them off and toed out of his socks before leaning back on his elbow and taking himself in hand. He met the Angel’s eyes as he gave the rigid shaft a slow stroke, running his thumb across the sensitive head. He gasped at the jolt of pleasure, but didn't look away. “Go on baby. I want you naked.”

Castiel threw his coat and suit jacket to the floor before viciously yanking on his tie and pulling it over his head. Suddenly clumsy fingers struggled with the tiny buttons on his dress shirt and Dean almost laughed at the helpless whine that escaped the Angel’s mouth. He was not prepared for Castiel to take the fabric in both hands and tear it in two.

“Jesus Christ, Cas. God you want this so bad, don’t you?” He wasn’t even touching himself anymore; the sight of the Angel throwing his belt across the room and fucking ripping - not pulling, but ripping - his fly down, had Dean already on edge. Cas leaned back against the door to pull off his shoes and socks, but when he’s done, he stands before Dean, eyes wild and chest heaving. 

The hunter licked his lips and kicked himself for not putting on a cock ring. The Angel was fucking stunning. Dean was going to burn that damn coat and suit ensemble. Cas’s body deserved to be shown off in snug jeans and tight t-shirts. He’ll let him keep the tie though. He had plans for that tie. 

“You just gonna stand there looking gorgeous? Thought you wanted to touch me?”

The words were barely out of his mouth before Castiel stalked towards the bed. Blue-black eyes devoured the body displayed so beautifully on the bed before settling on his prize. Dean choked back a moan as Cas slid easily to his knees. He eyed the rigid member in front of his face like it held all the answers to the universe. Tan fingers wrapped slowly around the turgid flesh and gave a deliberate stroke, just as Dean had done. 

The hunter couldn’t be bothered to be ashamed of the guttural groan that flew past his lips. After 10 years, the Angel’s hands were on him and fuck if it wasn’t even better than he’d imagined. The tentative grip on his dick became more confident at the sound and Castiel swiped a finger across the weeping head, raising his hand to his lips and sucking the finger into his mouth. 

“Holy shit, Cas. You’re gonna fucking kill me, man.”

The Angel must have determined that he liked the taste, because the next thing Dean knew, his cock was engulfed in the deliciously wet heat of Castiel’s mouth. 

“Oh FUCK!” his hips shot up off the bed before he could stop himself, but the Angel merely swallowed around the head and hummed happily as the thick cock slid down his throat. The vibrations had the hunter squirming and instinctively grabbing fistfulls of the Angel’s dark hair to try to ground himself as Castiel began to bob his head. “God yessss. Jesus, Cas, you’re so fucking hot. On your knees for me. Knew you’d be good at this. Sucking my cock like you were fucking made for it”. 

Dean had once prided himself on his impressive stamina. He could always bring his partners to completion at least twice before he let himself go, but Castiel was wrecking him. The sight of those plush lips wrapped around his dick and the pretty blue eyes watching him from under dark lashes was his most fervent desire come to life. He tried to keep his control, tried to concentrate, but Cas’ tongue...oh his tongue, was too warm and wet and Dean was too sensitive. His brain was nothing but soft static. There was no room for anything in his thoughts. There’s only the feeling of this, and Dean was shivering as Cas explored, slowly licking and teasing until it felt like flames shooting up his spine and so much pressure inside that he might explode. The Angel was dragging his lips from the base to the head and back again with absolutely vulgar slurping sounds. He was going to come in record time and he wasn’t ready for this to be over yet. 

“Cas” he gasped, “Cas, slow down, babe. I need you to - ohhh - slow down.” The Angel merely growled around the flesh in his mouth and his pace didn’t falter. Dean pulled viciously on the soft strands in his grasp. He expected a dark glare, but instead he felt the full body shudder and heard a low, throaty moan fall from Castiel’s plump lips. It was an unexpected, but thoroughly welcome surprise; Dean had never figured that Cas would be into hair pulling, but he wasn’t about to let that information go to waste. 

“You like that, Cas?” He pulled again, nearly yanking his dick out of that exquisite mouth.

“You want me to pull your hair while I fuck you?” He used his grip to pull the pliant Angel back onto him, fucking his mouth slowly. “While I pound that tight ass into the mattress?”

The noise that tore out of Castiel’s throat was not, could not, have been human, and the sound of it caused Dean’s skin to rise with goose bumps and his eyes to roll back.

“Yeah,” Dean moaned, “That’s what I thought…”

The Angel shivered and let himself be used, pulled back and forth by his hair, sucking obediently on the sensitive head and swallowing the hunter down with every thrust. He had no need to breathe, so Cas took him in to the root and held himself there, his grace easing the ache in his jaw. He swallowed hard, feeling himself constrict around the head buried in his throat. The ragged sound that punched out of Dean’s mouth is what his fantasies were made of; it’s equal parts gasp, growl, and Cas’ name all at once. 

The soft little moans against Dean’s dick were almost enough to have him shooting his load down Castiel’s throat, but he wanted more. Reluctantly he eased Cas off of his swollen member, and released his hold on the Angel’s hair.

“Get your sexy ass up here.” he husked. Castiel scrambled from his knees and despite the lack of attention, he was still rock hard and dripping. Dean licked his lips. He’d never blown a guy before but he always wondered what it would be like...the weight of it on his tongue, the tang of pre-come and the inhuman warmth of the Angel’s body against his lips... He was so turned on, even the thought of that ruddy cock in his mouth had his own dick twitching. 

Dean slid backwards on the mattress as the brunette scrambled on top of him, the hunter instinctively arching off the bed at the slick drag of Castiel’s shaft against his own. The Angel panted hotly against his lips as he ground down chasing the delicious friction. Dean worked a hand between their bodies and took both of them in hand. Cas’ hips immediately stuttered violently and he rocked into the sweaty tunnel of Dean’s fist, writhing in the cradle of the blonde’s thighs.

“Oh god, Dean…” He swallowed Castiel’s mewls of pleasure as he chased the taste of himself on the Angel’s tongue. He could feel himself cresting all too quickly as Cas ruts shamelessly against him. The dirty grind of their hips was enough to send him over the edge, but he didn’t want it to end like this... The hunter broke the heated kiss, pushing at the brunette’s hips and sucking in deep breaths to keep his orgasm at bay.

“Dean?” his fucked out throat sounded like he gargled gravel every day. 

Dean sucked another bruise against the Angel’s jugular. “On your back. Now.” 

Castiel nearly threw himself towards the head of the bed, immediately spreading his legs in invitation. Dean was on him in an instant, hands on those delectable hip bones, meeting the Angel’s lustful gaze with a cocky smirk.

“Goddamn, Cas. Look at you. So damn hard for me. So eager. You want me to fuck you, baby? Want me to fill that tight little hole with my cock? You’re holding your grace back because you want to feel it when I split you open, don’t you?” The wanton moan from the Angel’s lips was answer enough. With a hand around the base of his dick, he pressed against the tightly furled skin of Castiel’s ass and instead of the resistance he expected, the Angel’s body opened for him readily, the passage already slick and deliciously tight. He paused.

“You’re so damn desperate, you used your mojo to lube yourself up?”

Castiel is arching his back, intent on fucking himself if Dean doesn’t hurry up. “And I’m immune to human diseases, now move.”

Dean dropped his head to the Angel’s chest as he fed his thick shaft into the velvet heat of the Angel’s ass. Inch by inch, his dick was enveloped in tight heat until finally he bottomed out, drawing deep moans from both men. Dean took a moment to gather himself, knowing that if he moved too soon he was going to be really embarrassed. When he was sure he was no longer on edge, he looked Castiel in the eyes as he pulled almost all the way out until the bulbous head caught on the Angel’s rim before shoving back inside. 

“Yessss, Dean. More.”

The rest of his pleas were cut off when Dean pulled out and drove back in again, hard and long and way before Castiel is even close to ready for it. He cried out, and Dean grabbed him by the hair and pulled his head back, forcing Cas’ ear to his mouth so he has to listen to every word Dean says.

“Is this what you thought about all those years, Cas? When you kissed Meg...when you fucked April, this is what you really wanted, isn’t it?” Dean growls, his grip of Cas’ hair tightening. Castiel tries to make a pleading sound but nothing comes out except a breathy huuuh sound when Dean slams back into him again. 

It’s exquisite and nowhere near enough. Instead of begging for Dean to loosen his grip, Cas braced himself on the headboard and met him thrust for thrust. Dean tilted his hips every time he pounded into the Angel’s body, searching for the spot he knew would drive him wild. Castiel’s hands flew from the headboard to cling desperately at Dean’s shoulders.

“FUCK! Dean, THERE!” 

Found it. With deadly accuracy, Dean nailed the Angel’s prostate with every single thrust. 

“Shit. Fuck, Dean. More. Don’t stop. Don’t you dare stop.”

The hunter couldn’t even if he wanted to. His hips pistoned into the eager body beneath him. “Jesus, Cas. You are so fucking tight! Gonna fuck you so good, baby. Make you feel it for days. You’re not going to be able to sit for a week without remembering the feel of my dick inside you. Gonna mark you up inside. Ruin you for anybody else.” 

“Dean, please. I want to - I need -. Please.” Dean couldn’t stop the possessive thrill as the Angel begged for him. He clutched at the Angel’s ass, bending him in half like it was nothing. The brunette closed his eyes and keened as the new angle trapped his neglected cock between their stomachs, allowing for a more direct assault on his prostate. He could feel the delicious heat in the pit of his stomach spike and instinctively locked his ankles around the hunter’s waist.

Dean couldn’t control the words coming out of his mouth as he husked into Castiel’s ear. “God you are gorgeous like this. So perfect.” The Angel’s desperate sob was his only answer. “Fuck, are you close? I haven’t even touched you. Jesus that is so fucking hot. You think you can come just like this? Gonna come on my cock, Cas? You gonna come for me like a good boy?”

The lightbulbs in the room exploded as Castiel’s eyes shot open, arching his body in a filthy grind against Dean’s stomach as he crushed their lips together. The hunter swallowed his scream as wet heat coated their stomachs. Dean continued to fuck the Angel through his orgasm, chasing his release when Cas suddenly clenched and the world went white.

When Dean came back to himself, he was sprawled against Castiel’s chest and the Angel was running his fingers through sweat-damp hair. One of his own arms had wrapped around the brunette’s back and the other was splayed against his side. He subconsciously ran his thumb across the Enochian inked into the warm skin. Maybe it was the afterglow or the fact that nobody had touched him like that in so long, but the hunter felt tears spring unbidden to his eyes. Castiel didn’t help matters by talking. 

“You’re incredible, you know that?”

“I’m always a fantastic lay.” He grinned.

“Not your sexual prowess, Dean, though all evidence points to the fact that your skills are undisputed. You, Dean Winchester. All that you are, is exquisite.”

The hunter flushed scarlet, grateful that he could hide his face in the Angel’s chest instead of looking him in the eye. “Am not.” He was an epic screw up with daddy issues and a drinking problem.

“Yes you are. You have a kind heart, a bright soul, and a clever mind.” The hand that wasn’t in his hair moved to hold the sated hunter around the waist. He relaxed into the embrace though he would claim exhaustion before admitting he liked to cuddle. 

“You care so much about everyone, even if it’s to your own detriment. You love deeply and laugh freely. You are selfless, loyal and stubborn.” Castiel pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“You are a good man, though you deny it. You are the shining example of what humanity can be. Everyone who knows you is richer for it.” A single tear slid down a freckled cheek and Dean knew Cas could feel the dampness on his skin. The grip around his waist tightened.

Castiel clutched the hunter to him as though he was afraid he would leave. “Dean, I was made - all Angels were made - for worship. The focus of that adulation has permanently shifted.”

Dean wasn’t going anywhere. Not ever. 

~~~~~~~~~~

As consciousness slowly wormed its way through the fog of sleep, Dean Winchester became aware of three things. 

He wasn’t alone in his bed  
He couldn’t feel his left arm  
He was more relaxed than he’d been in years

Each of these three things had the same answer. Castiel. Dean smiled gently as he gazed at the man beside him. He had always known the Angel was attractive, but in sleep all the worries of the world washed away. He was beautiful. For once, Dean cursed the fact that they lived underground, because the Angel would have been absolutely breathtaking bathed in the soft morning light. 

The hunter ignored his pinned and numb arm in favor of drinking in the Angel’s presence. Cas had picked one hell of a vessel. He was maliciously sexy...the way he moved, the way he breathed. It was passive harassment is what it was. It was like he was designed to drive Dean insane. Dean congratulated himself on his iron willpower for being able to resist as long as he had.

His eyes swept down from the wild mop of dark hair - it really was sex hair now - past the fan of his long lashes and the plushness of those still kiss-swollen lips. The tan skin of his neck was littered with dark bruises that he had refused to let heal. The hunter could still see the imprint of his own teeth in the junction of his neck. Dean couldn’t stop the rush of possessive pride at the sight. Mine. 

Lust curled low in his stomach as his gaze drifted downward. He took in the dusky nipples that he now knew were delightfully sensitive, and the flat plane of his stomach down to the trail of wiry hair beneath the Angel’s navel. Those sinful hip bones bore a series of small marks that Dean knew matched his own fingertips perfectly. His heated gaze was blocked from absorbing more of his lover’s body by the traitorous sheet draped around their lower bodies. Instead, he contented himself with wrapping his arm around the brunette’s waist and scooting close to nuzzle at the base of his neck. 

He inhaled the Angel’s scent - a mix of salty sweat, the musk of sex, and something distinctly Castiel. He smelled like thunder and the earth before the rain. He pressed a kiss to the skin against his lips and tightened his grip, pulling the Angel’s back snugly against his chest. He had almost lost his chance to ever have this and he wasn’t going to ever let it go again. He hated that they’d spent so long apart and at odds with one another when they could’ve been doing this for the past decade. But they had all the time in the world now. Neither of them were going anywhere, and with Heaven and Hell now back in order and all the other hunters galvanized behind Bobby, they could afford to take things slow. 

Castiel’s breathing changed slightly as he awoke, the sharp inhale as he struggled to figure out where he was, and then the deep sigh as the memories of the prior night came back and he relaxed in Dean’s arms. The Angel stretched luxuriously and hummed in contentment as Dean pressed butterfly kisses to all the skin he could reach. The Angel’s voice was rough and slurred with sleep. “Good Morning, Dean.”

The hunter felt the rumble against his lips more than he heard the actual words. “Mornin’, Angel. Didn’t think you needed sleep. Something must’ve worn you out pretty good last night.”

The Angel in question huffed a laugh, he could feel the hunter’s smirk against his skin. “Hmmm...you could say that. My vessel did sustain considerable...damage...during our activities. Consequences of suppressing my grace I suppose. Not that I mind, of course.” Even as he spoke the words, his grace unfurled within and the bruises and bite marks faded away. 

Dean mourned their loss, but was determined to leave more any chance he got. “Yeah well, we’re going to have to trim your nails or something, because my back looks like I got mauled by a tiger.” 

Castiel was suddenly pulling out of Dean’s arms and rolling the hunter towards him to more easily view the damaged area. He flushed slightly as he saw his own handiwork. In the throes of passion he had left scratches criss crossed along the broad expanse of those freckled shoulders. He winced in sympathy and pressed his fingers to the marred flesh. 

“Woah now!” Dean was suddenly kneeling on the bed.“I didn’t say I wanted you to heal it. I mean, I kinda like the pain in the heat of the moment. And besides, if I can’t have you all marked up, having this is the next best thing.” He could feel the heat in his face as he watched the Angel watch him. It would feel weird for a while...saying things like that to Cas. But he knew now, Cas was it for him. End of story. There was no one else he could imagine having by his side. 

The Angel’s gaze was soft and filled with such deep affection that Dean wanted to duck his head and hide like he normally would. But instead he leaned forward and pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss. His hand found it’s spot on the Angel’s neck - not pulling - just a gentle, reassuring pressure. The Angel practically purred when his fingers began absently carding through the tendrils of soft hair near the base of his skull. 

Castiel’s kisses became more insistent as he became fully awake. He proved to be an exceptionally fast learner by sucking Dean’s bottom lip into his mouth, nipping gently. Dean’s harsh gasp only spurred him on as he grabbed roughly at the wayward spikes of Dean’s hair. The Hunter panted against the brunette’s lips as his hands inched teasingly up the Angel’s strong thighs, intent on their destination. He pulled Cas closer, eager to hear again the desperate noises he’d rung from from the Angel’s throat the night before. 

The moment was shattered by the obscenely loud gurgling of the hunter’s stomach. Cas chuckled against his lips, dropping soft kisses to the corner of his mouth, his jaw, and then to his neck. He buried his face in the crook of Dean’s neck and mouthed at his pulse point. The perpetual 5 o’clock shadow scratching against the hunter’s collarbone kept him at a low simmer, but it wasn’t enough. He roughly pulled the Angel into this lap. Castiel straddled his thighs easily, chests nearly touching, and Dean could see his pupils dilate at the new position, leaving only a thin ring of blue. The blonde moved in close just as his stomach decided to make its protests known once more. 

Dean dropped his forehead against the shorter male’s chest and laughed helplessly. Six feet of devastatingly handsome, completely naked Angel was in his lap and he was cockblocked by his own stomach. His body needed to get its priorities straight. 

“Dean, I do believe you need to eat something.”

“Yeah. You.” 

“No Dean, you need actual food. Did you eat yesterday at all? Though time does pass far more slowly in the Empty, your body requires sustenance.” 

Dean wasn’t giving up quite yet. He craned his neck slightly in an attempt to join their lips together again. “What my body needs is - “

The Angel’s hand over his mouth stopped his advancement cold. “Food, Dean. Now.”

Dean licked his palm, causing the Angel to jerk his hand back in disgust. The hunter grinned. “You’ll have to do that again sometime. I get all tingly when you take charge like that.”

“I was a Captain of the Celestial Host, Dean. I know how to give orders.” A single dark brow rose as though daring the hunter to suggest otherwise. 

Dean shivered instead. “Yes, sir” he purred. He didn’t miss the way the Angel’s eyes widened or the sharp intake of breath. This was definitely something they were going to explore later. And Dean had definitely liked ordering Cas around the night before.... He still had those handcuffs around somewhere didn’t he? The ones that could restrain an Angel…oh the possibilities… He didn’t register that his thumbs were stroking slowly along the Angel’s hips until Castiel grabbed his hands and held them in his own. He pressed kisses to his palms before rising from the bed. 

The Angel shuffled over to the dresser and began rummaging through Dean’s drawers. The sway of that incredible ass was a direct attack on the hunter’s self control. “Ya know, babe. I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.” 

The Angel snorted and turned towards the bed again. Dean allowed himself to get excited again for a moment before a bundle of cloth was chucked at his head. Cas had that triumphant look on his face and Dean couldn’t help but laugh. This. This was exactly what he’d always wanted for them. Waking up together, the stupid banter, kisses just because they could. He used to think he would die young and bloody on a hunt gone wrong, but now? He had a whole new future ahead of him. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The hunter and his Angel made their way towards the middle of the bunker, their progress hampered by the fact that they both kept stopping to pull the other into a kiss every few steps. Dean couldn’t help himself. Cas looked so damn good in those low-slung sweats it should be illegal. They were giggling like teenagers, nudging each other with their shoulders and glancing coyly at one another as they stepped into the kitchen. It was empty, but the lingering smell of food told Dean that his brother at least, was awake. Probably went for a run at the ass crack of dawn, the health freak. Dean busied himself with preparing breakfast when he felt Castiel press against his back. The Angel wound his arms around his waist and rested his chin on the hunter’s shoulder.

“What are you making?” The rumble of the Angel’s baritone against him was always a thrill. Dean had to admit to himself that he kinda had a thing for Cas’ voice. It did things to him. He tamped down on his arousal and focused on not setting the bunker on fire. 

“Omelet. Eggs, meat, cheese. Pretty simple. You want one?”

“No thank you. Is there something I can do to help?” 

“Uh, yeah sure. Take two pieces of bread out of the bag there. Over on the counter.” Castiel drifted over to the counter Dean nodded at. “Put ‘em in the slot of the toaster - yeah, that little rectangle thing there. Yup. Now press down on the little lever.”

The Angel grinned, quite pleased that he was able to help the human cook. And Dean was a lovesick fool, because it was so damn domestic and perfect.

“Keep an eye on this for me, will ya, Cas?” He nodded at the contents of the pan in front of him. “Put the filing in there, and fold it into thirds. Then just let it cook for a bit. You might need to flip it over. I need to get some socks. My feet are freezing.”

The Angel nodded and dutifully assumed his post in front of the stove. He held the spatula like it was a weapon. Dean could only chuckle. He loved this man so much it hurt. 

He had just finished putting on his socks when an inhuman scream echoed through the halls. Dean snatched his gun from the top of his dresser and bolted. Panic raced through him as he began to sprint down the hall. He nearly slid past the doorway, but caught himself on the edge. He pulled himself into the room, his eyes landed on the Angel now sprawled on the floor by the counter. Cas was breathing hard, with a wide-eyed terror on his face. 

He stared at Dean as he whispered “You didn’t tell me they flew out!” That was when Dean saw the two pieces of perfectly browned bread lying on the kitchen floor. He tried so hard to hold it together, he really did, but the violent shaking of his shoulders could not be contained. He choked back his laughter as the Angel stared incredulously. 

“Dean, this is not funny!”

That did it. Dean roared with laughter. Tears streamed down his face. He could barely stand and had to use the table as support. The Angel’s grumpy glare only made him laugh harder. When he finally managed to bring himself back under control, Castiel had tossed the offending pieces of bread in the garbage and was now leaning back against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest. It was a pose he learned from Dean to express his displeasure.

“Are you quite done, now?”

Dean wiped the tears from his eyes as he nodded. He stepped closer to the Angel, still grinning madly. “Baby, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed at you, but I legit thought you were getting murdered in here and it was some fucking bread…” He smoothed his hands down the shorter males’ sides and slowly the Angel uncrossed his arms. Dean closed the gap between them instantly and placed a small kiss on the tip of the brunette’s nose. “You’re adorable when you’re angry, by the way.”

“Dean, I am a centuries old creature with 3 heads and six wings covered in eyes. I am not adorable.”

Another kiss, this time to his mouth. “Yes you are. And you’re even cuter when you’re pouting.”

Eventually they managed to make it to the dining table. Dean tucked into his food with gusto while his coffee cooled and Castiel nursed a cup of his own that was half creamer and contained an amount of sugar that would be worrisome if Cas was actually human. Between bites, Dean openly watched the Angel because now he could. The way those strong hands curled around the mug like he thought he might drop it. The way he inhaled the coffee, delighting in the smell before taking that first sip. The contented hum as the warm liquid slid down his throat. 

“Dean, your food is getting cold.” He’d been caught staring, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. The smile on the Angel’s lips said he enjoyed the attention anyway. Their eyes met as Casl took another sip of his drink and neither bothered to look away. They were both smiling like idiots, so lost in each other they missed the sound of the bunker door closing and the clatter of feet descending the stairwell. 

Sam stopped short on his way to the refrigerator. He resisted the urge to take a picture. “You two are adorable.” The twin deer-in-the-headlights looks he got were absolutely priceless. “I mean it. You’re happy. It’s cute.”

Dean tossed a half-hearted glare at his brother. “I’ll show you, cute…” He sipped from his mug, making obnoxious slurping noises all while he watched his brother. The bitchface intensified the longer Dean carried on until finally he stopped for a breath. He expected Sam to come up with a snarky barb, but instead the younger Winchester looked to Castiel. 

“This is the man you love, huh?”

Dean barked a laugh, “Clearly he has no taste”. 

“I believe I have excellent taste.” The Angel’s gaze focused on something behind Dean’s shoulder, “And apparently so does Sam.”

Dean turned to find Eileen standing awkwardly in the doorway wearing little more than his brother’s flannel shirt - fully buttoned thankfully. The thing hung to her knees. Dean grinned at his brother. “Nice.”

“Am I interrupting something?” she asked quietly.

Sam instinctively angled himself so she could read his lips more easily. “Not at all. Are you hungry?”

“Starving! Something in here smells really good. Is that ham?”

Dean turned fully around at the table, leaning back on his elbows as he faced Eileen. “Indeed it is! Master Chef, Dean Winchester at your service.” She giggled, but her fond smile was all for Sam. 

“I was kinda hoping that Sam might make me breakfast…”

“As he should! I’m sure he helped you work up quite an appetite…”

“DEAN!” Sam had the nerve to look scandalized. 

“Oh come on, man. I’m kidding! I mean, I’m really not… but… I’m happy for you too, ya know. I wouldn’t be your older brother if I didn’t razz you about it though.”

“Yeah, yeah… why don’t you take your boyfriend into the other room so I can cook in peace?”

Dean flushed slightly at the word being used so casually, but he still held out his hand to the Angel. “Whaddya say, Cas? It’s Saturday. Wanna watch some cartoons?” 

“Of course, Dean.” 

An hour later all four were lounging in the living room trying to guess who the culprit was before the Mystery Inc. gang made the big reveal. Sam had claimed the oversized recliner and Eileen was perched in his lap with her head resting on his chest. Dean and Cas were sprawled out on the couch, mimicking the position they’d woken up in. The hunter was sandwiched between the couch cushions and his boyfriend lay happily in his arms. Dean’s fingers traced patterns idly along the strong chest as he held the Angel close. The brunette gently grasped his wandering hand and threaded their fingers together, giving a small squeeze. Dean pressed a kiss into dark, silken strands. Who needed Heaven when he had this? The brothers were happy, they were in love, and they were at peace.

He murmured into the Angel’s hair so as not to disturb the couple 4 feet away. “Hey Cas, you wanna know something awesome?” The Angel nodded.

“I love you.”

“And I, you.”

FIN


End file.
